Unapologetic

“You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet. “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭13‬-‭16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

My family moved around a lot when I was growing up. This meant I had to learn to adapt. In other words, I became a people pleaser. I learned quickly to assess the situation around me and adjust to fit the new environment. I didn't like conflict and so I worked hard to not go against the grain.

I honestly wonder if that may be the reason God directed me into the career path of becoming a Probation Officer - to work that nasty habit out of me! It was impossible to be an effective agent of change without learning the necessity of confrontation and how to skillfully apply it. I began using dialogue like a masterful surgeon, delicately exposing the harmful root of the undesired behavior, trying hard not to activate the other person's automatic defense mechanisms of retaliation or denial. No lasting change could ever really happen without that necessary exposure and subsequent extraction.

One of the greatest lessons I learned in this role was that confrontation doesn't have to be confrontational; meaning that you can get right to the point of the matter without being ugly about it. If the motivation is in the best interest of everyone involved and that is obvious and sincere, the approach hits different.

This blog post isn't about my work with corrections. It's more of a disclaimer about my book, podcast, and future creative content that is coming. I was a few chapters into writing and realized that I was using descriptive language that was apologetic in describing things I had heard or felt from God. I was basically glossing over events and making statements such as "I know this might sound strange, but..." One day, I was reading over a chapter to review for the podcast, and I just became grieved in my spirit.

I can't make a difference AND fit into everyone's mold at the same time. It's just not possible. I had to make a choice. Will I meet the world's standards, or will I be completely transparent and run the risk of looking weird and strange becoming even more vulnerable? Suddenly, I felt like the new kid again. Standing alone on the playground during recess at yet another new school; watching from the sidelines, wanting so badly to fit in again. I'm new to this whole podcast and social media world and am still figuring things out. Everything inside of me is screaming against taking this bold new path "They won't believe you...that's not how it's done!"

But at the end of the day, I didn't start any of this for any other reason than to try to make a difference. That's always been the core motivation that drives me. Every job I've had for the last 15 years has centered around helping other people become their best. I have felt trapped these last few months being unable to help in that way because of medical issues and it has driven me to try to reach out in some other way....

And so I went back and rewrote my chapters. For instance, Chapter 3 once only briefly mentioned The Well. I've now included more of that story to develop the shareable Invitation to Dream video to encourage other people to follow their God given dreams. I feel this urgency that I can no longer fight or deny and so, get ready!

I will bring you my truth, motivated by love from the heart of a loving Father. I will fight the urge to apologize for it because I know my intentions are good. Not everyone will understand and that is ok. Even still....