This is an Excerpt from my book, Reluctant Journey With a Faithful God. It's a breakdown of Psalm 23, line by line.
The Lord is my Shepherd (to feed, to guide, and to shield me) I shall not want.
When will I learn that He can be trusted? As the Good Shepherd, It’s not just a role of
authority. It’s so much more intimate than that. He is my absolute source, my provider,
the One I can count on for my protection and for every physical, emotional, and spiritual
need.
2 He lets me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside the still and quiet
waters.
Some translations say He “makes” me lie down. This is so funny to me and right now, I
think that’s more appropriate for me. But in the end, He knows what I need and He
provides the opportunities for me to rest. There is a stillness in His presence – it is the deep
calling unto deep. His Spirit calling out and leading me to that place of fellowship as an
invitation to dwell with Him.
He refreshes and restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for
His name's sake.
Make no mistake, He is the One that brings the refreshing. Nothing else, no one else can
satisfy this deepest longing. It is an eternal desire placed within my spirit even before the
physical body forms. The soul longs for its creator.
Even though I walk through the (sunless) valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil,
for You are with me, Your rod (to protect) and your staff (to guide) they comfort and
console me.
Why am I surprised that the journey He leads me on might be a hard one? This passage
speaks directly to that – HE LEADS ME on the path of righteousness for his name’s sake
and then immediately speaks that EVEN THOUGH it’s this dark place, not to be afraid
because He’s with me. It seems this should have been more of a foreshadowing than I’ve
ever given thought to before this year. I guess I want to think of a God journey as things
working out in this miracle kind of way. Not the valley of shadow of death I feel like I might
lose my mind kind of path... thankfully, in the panic and fury of the hard path, He remains.
He is not surprised by my surprise, and He is with me through it all. His discipline to keep
me on the hard path even when I fuss and fight and beg to get off because it’s for my own
good is comforting because I can’t manipulate Him with my tears to compromise the long-
term plan for my short-term happiness. He consoles me in the emotions of the moment
and the knowledge of His sovereignty comforts me and helps me process through the grief
of my own unmet expectations.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You have anointed
and refreshed my head with oil; My cup overflows.
I don’t have to wait until the storm is over or the chaos is calmed to receive the benefits of
your peace, love, and joy. You are with me through the madness. You are the God who
chooses to fellowship with me in the suffering and not turn away. It is right in that place
that you meet with me, and I can receive all the blessings and benefits of your presence
when I choose to worship through the pain.
Surely goodness and mercy and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell forever (throughout all my days) in the house and in the presence of
the Lord.
I think that’s the evidence of the overflow of a life lived on purpose to pursue His presence.
You just can’t help but see the evidence of His goodness on the life of someone who truly
loves God. They are so busy looking at Him and loving Jesus there’s just this tangible trail
of kindness and blessings that are left behind as a legacy.
I think I am finally ready to pull up a chair and take my seat at the table of His presence;
right in the face of my enemies of sickness and fear. I have fought and complained about
feeling stuck so much that I have literally come to the end of myself. As much as I wanted
to have an answer already and be out of this gray area of uncertainty, I do believe there is a
beautiful blessing of opportunity reserved for those who will choose to worship God from
the place of suffering.
It is entirely my choice. The question is not whether I will have to wait anyway, but how I
will choose to do it. Will I choose to look at my circumstances and focus on how I feel and
the disappointments of unmet expectations or will I look up; past what is right in front of
me and trust that He is working all things together for my good and His glory? I really do...
Much love, V
#onwego